College-aged female fetishists?

[Duncan Edwards]

What I do is frighteningly, exactly, identical to what men do, to the point where I could never figure out what I could have to say that would be enlightening.

You may not say anything any different than I might but you do say it much better most of the time. That's important.

[jack c]

Nessie - you have been a female inspiration for me for over 20 years - the fact that you are real, articulate, and willing to share a whole lot on this board and others. I agree, it's mostly guys here, but you represent a female minority that I think is bigger than most people would guess.

[Nessie]

I agree, it's mostly guys here, but you represent a female minority that I think is bigger than most people would guess.

I agree that the number is likely to be bigger than most of us suspect.

This forum as done as well as anyone could expect to create a good place where we are welcome. Our producers do cater to men but it also would be true that there has been little interest shown by women. Things would change in a hurry if 500 women joined up here and said we'd buy something different if it was made for us.

We are wanted here. There are good people here. The environment is welcoming. So...I remain stumped!

Nessie

[LeilaHazlett]

I have meet one so far. As others have mentioned women tend to keep these things to themselves and not advertise on the internet because getting 50 messages from overly eager men in 1 day is really intimidating and of-putting for most people.

[mudxdresser]

When estimating the proportion of female mud fetishists to male mud fetishists, keep in mind that your estimate should be constrained by the reality of the frequency of occurrence of fetishism in females. That is a rather well established ratio of less than 1% of the total population of fetishists. Not an encouraging statistic for us guys but nevertheless the way it really is.

And that in turn should not really be surprising when one considers how a fetishist is formed. Fetishes are basically unknown in the undeveloped world, they are a product of delayed adulthood that is characteristic of more advanced industrial societies. What basically happens is that the normal mechanism that would lead to normal male fixation on a female is short circuited during adolescence and instead becomes misdirected randomly to an object of fixation. That fixation becomes strengthened by the Zeigarnik Effect during repeated masturbation fixating on the fetish object. Adolescent males tend to do this type of behavior far more than adolescent females, therefore, there are vastly more male fetishists than females.

As has been noted, sometimes you will encounter females who attempt to mirror their man's fetish. I have met several of these but have also observed that if that relationship ends, they are no longer interested in that fetish. I had a former wife that fit that category but, I assure you, though she found deep mud very erotic and sensual, she would never do it again on her own and is most definitely not a fetishist.

I have met two definite female mud fetishists and perhaps conversed with a couple of others who might, or might not, be real. So, based on my personal experience, which is substantial, a ratio of no more than 1% at most of female mud fetishists to male mud fetishists looks correct to me.

[Fred588]

That fixation becomes strengthened by the Zeigarnik Effect during repeated masturbation fixating on the fetish object. .

Quotation above snipped at both ends.

I think you will find that the concept of Zeigarnik Effects is pretty-well discredited.

[mudxdresser]

The original work, yes, but yet the fact that an interrupted event is remembered better than an uninterrupted event is very obviously real and is why television commercials are inserted in such a manner as to take advantage of this.

[vrekandis]

Hi. Lifelong quicksander and general all-purpose kinkster and fetish-freak here.

I've been a (peripheral, mostly) part of the online community since...well, pretty much since there WAS a web-based and IRC quicksander community, under several different handles, from the mid-90s on. Before it had separated itself from the larger WAM community even.

In those years I've personally encountered exactly two, only one of whom was younger than I was. One was a friend I met online and spent time with in the 90s, but fell out of contact with after 2000. The other I spoke with regularly for nearly a decade, mostly online, until a couple of years ago, when events in both of our lives spiralled out of control. We still email occasionally. Her interest was primarily encasement and peril-based D/S roleplay that quicksand played only an occasional part in.

They were both awesome people, but neither of them had much desire to do anything other than lurk quietly at the periphery. In both cases, they tended to dislike the type of attention they received when they were more open, nor did either of them want their private lives to become linked to their public personas in any way. I'm honored to have known both of them.

I have no reason to believe that either of them is at all atypical.

So..they're here. There's not many of them but they are here, and most of them are very, very quiet. The sad fact, as Nessie and others have stated, is that this fetish group is overwhelmingly male. Most of us are cool, but as with anything, there's just enough creepy troglodyte types to discourage most of them from participating actively.

Quite a few of us males don't participate much for similar reasons, too.

[Nessie]

That is a rather well established ratio of less than 1% of the total population of fetishists. Not an encouraging statistic for us guys but nevertheless the way it really is.

As usual, you give me plenty of stuff to think about.

It's also discouraging that personal experience is all there is to go on in this matter. Mine, however, says 1% is just way too low.

Yes, we silently lurk. But you actually mentioned another reason to raise the percentage.

As has been noted, sometimes you will encounter females who attempt to mirror their man's fetish. I have met several of these but have also observed that if that relationship ends, they are no longer interested in that fetish.

My female mind can easily imagine how this has gone, countless times, over the various forms of online quicksand boards ever since the Internet opened:

"Why, I did everything imaginable for that blankety-blank lowdown rat-pig of a ^%$!! and what did he do for me? Nothing!" And she signs out of the fetish forum forever, leaving legions of saddened online fans who perhaps saw her photos, or only read her words, to say..."Whatever happened to...? She was truly one of us."

Now...while it is true that most fetishists are men, it isn't true that most men are fetishists. So in all those cases, if mirroring is going on, a woman with secret unconventional desires is casting a reflection that is utterly normal. It also means that over on the foot-fetish page, there may be a secret mud fetishist rubbing her toes over hot dogs.

I am no fan of the practice, myself, although I can't say I was never guilty of it, especially before the Internet, during those days when I thought my fetish was something terrible that should go away anyway. By the way, we're not deliberately lying to you. We only mean to take care of you. We never give any thought to what it means to lie to you about who we are.

Hopefully, mirroring only happens in a minority of relationships, but the fact is that we have no way to determine this, period. I am hoping that as attitudes relax, less of it goes on, but even if millenials are mirroring less than us old fogeys, we still don't know how many are and how many are not.

It makes more sense to me to put the number of females independently interested in fetish of some kind closer to 20% of the male (as high as 30%, as low as 10%?).

Nessie

[Duncan Edwards]

My experience has been that it's much easier to find ladies who are just into general kink rather than a specific fetish. This may be linked to the mirroring thing but they think anything different is fun and get a kick out of sharing it. When you combine that with being an attractive exhibitionist then you get a really good fetish model.