Rediculous but true

[Mynock]

A man who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

It takes lots of nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.

[BogDog]

The part of any car that fails and causes accidents the most often is......the nut that holds the steering wheel.


One quote I always loved from former air show pilot Art Scholl:
"(Air racing) is like having sex with your girlfriend on the hood of your wife's car while your wife is honking the horn. Pretty damn exciting, but not much fun."

[Fred588]

You can fool all of the people some of the time,
And some of the people all of the time.
But you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

Attributed widely but erroneously (I am told) to A. Lincoln.

[sixgunzloaded]

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then.

Even a broken clock is accurate twice a day.

Confidence: That feeling you have before fully understanding the situation.

[Tim Kelly]

How's this for really ridiculous but true;
Theresa "Kitten Heels" May is STILL Prime Minister!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tim Kelly]

If it looks like a duck, and is quacks like a duck, and it walks like a duck, then most likely its a duck.

I remember in the BBC series "Oppenheimer" a scene where two Army Intelligence officers were arguing over J.Robert Oppenheimer's politics;
"If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck..."
"It's a communist!"
Which provokes the obvious response:
"Comradeth! The New Economic Polithy ith an unatheptable deviathion from Markthitht orthodokthy! We mutht return to a polithy of...Pernanent Revoluthion!"
"Oh no! Did you hear that? Daffy's become a 'Trotthkyitht'!"
"Could have been worse, if he'd supported the Policy he would have become a 'Revithionitht'!"
(old Marxist joke)

[Theo]

Before social media:
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

After social media:
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will destroy your life.”

“If you chase two rabbits; you better have a hunting buddy.”

Variation: “If you chase two rabbits; you better have a semi-automatic shotgun, and two shells.”

“Life is like a box of chocolates, some people get Le Chocolate Box, some get See’s, and some get Elmer.”

[Theo]

In war, numbers are good… superior skill and equipment is better… but superior judgement and intelligence is best; especially when used to avoid circumstances that require superior numbers, skill and equipment.

[Theo]

I know this is an old topic, but this little idea came to mind on a recent trip while trying to adjust to sleeping in hotels for the first time in years.

"The world is so different now — now that I finally got 8 hours of sleep and drank three cups of coffee."

[BogDog]

One I missed earlier:

"The early bird gets the worm............... But it is the second mouse who gets the cheese."